How to Improve Self-Confidence through Eye Contact

eye contact
Eye Contact is crucial in improving your self-confidence

The windows to the soul

It’s a cliché to say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, but in more ways than one, they are. The eyes are also the mirrors of self-confidence. You can easily assess another person’s self-confidence by engaging in eye contact. People with low self-confidence hate making eye contact. They would tend to look at the ground as if they are looking for a lost coin.

The eyes are the first things which are noticed in the human face and they leave a long-lasting impression to the beholder. It’s fairly normal to hear someone say “I like girls with beautiful eyes,” when he is being asked about his idea of an attention-grabbing face. The eyes can make statements at a glance like no other part of the body can make. Imagine a short film which is entirely composed of a shot of a human face with the eyes slowly pouring out tears.

Even with no words, the eyes can reveal a lot about someone. If you are trying to hide your unhappiness, you can never really pretend to be happy without people noticing it. The eyes can tell stories that are never meant to be told. They can decipher thoughts and insecurities which are engraved in the deepest holes of one’s souls.

Your eyes also act as a meter to one’s self-confidence. Your eyes play a big role in making relationships, building careers and in portraying sincerity and competence, in general.

Here are some examples on how eye contact helps in improving self-confidence:

Girl in a Bar 

Making eye contact can start relationships. For example, if you are a man finding a likable girl in a party or a bar, you would look at her when she is not looking, once the girl looks back, you would try to hold your stare for a few seconds then you would turn away. You would repeat this set of moves for a few times while prolonging your stare after every move. You would then make your move towards the girl or back away permanently.

What happens here?

In making eye contact, one can convey interest towards someone else. Your stare definitely should get the message across to the girl. Once the move is done, the reactions of the girl are assessed. Making eye contact is a give and receive thing. You must not only convey but you must also listen to the response through her eyes.

Holding the right length of eye contact will set the move for introducing yourself. Holding eye contact too long may get someone accused of being a maniac or a freak, while not holding it at all will portray someone as a shy person with a low self-esteem and a lot of insecurities.

Job Interviews 

Interviews only last a few seconds long because more often than not, the verdict will be made through the first impression. Making eye contact with the interviewer will make you seem serious in getting the job. A lousy applicant will avoid eye contact because of fear. This is not a very good thing to do because interviews are primarily done to test your ability to handle pressure.

Interviews are also meant to display your ability to express yourself and what better way to instantly express your personality than through eye contact?

Speaking in Public 

One of the main factors that can make or break the delivery of a presentation to an audience is eye contact. Eye contact helps take the fear away from the speaker by getting the audience closer. Stress is mainly a result of being with the unknown and uncontrollable. Eye contact gives the speaker a picture of the reality that is the audience.

It also helps in getting the attention of the audience.

People in the audience would like to feel noticed and making eye contact with them makes them feel that the presentation is being delivered at the personal level.

Making eye contact is an essential tool in expressing oneself and getting responses from others. Your eyes can tell the story of your life in one glance. People should not be afraid or feel awkward in making eye contact as long as it is done in a courteous and proper manner.

This is part ten of 15 (yes, fifteen!) posts about The Ultimate Guide to Improving Your Self-Confidence, subscribe to our newsletter by clicking this link to receive free updates (not to mention a FREE E-Book!).

Part I: The Shocking Truth About Self-Confidence
Part II: 5 Little-Known Factors That Could Affect Your Confidence
Part III: 5 Surprising Characteristics of Someone Who Fears Rejection
Part IV: How to Cope With the Fear of Losing Your Loved One
Part V: How to Overcome the Fear of Failure
Part VI: Warning: Do Not Let Your Shyness Overpower You
Part VII: The Minimalist Guide to Good Posture
Part VIII: Secrets of Supermodels: How to Walk with Confidence
Part IX: 8 Steps to a Proper Handshake

To our success in all areas of life, 
Argel Tiburcio  
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When he is not busy watching "The Office", lounging at the beach, or playing 1st person shooting games, Argel consistently invests in the stock market, both local and global. He loves learning through books, training, seminars, and workshops. He also helps Pinoys create, manage, grow, and protect their wealth as a globally-certified Professional Financial Advisor. Get in touch with him by sending an email to contact[at]

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