How to Cope With the Fear of Losing Your Loved One

death is as natural as being born
Don’t take life seriously, no one gets out alive anyway

Grace woke up in a sweat, with the memories of last night’s dream still fresh and surreal. She was having those blasted nightmares again. But those nightmares could not have been mere nightmares because they were haunting her even during her waking hours.

This one was like all the other dreams where she was running after a familiar individual who would later on fall from a deep chasm. And in all dreams, she was the one hero who was doing everything to save the same individual from falling. The funny thing is, she could not see his features.

Psychologists would interpret Grace’s dream as something which speaks of her inner fears in life. One such fear which came out in the open was her fear of losing people near to her, people whom she loves dearly.

The fear of losing someone you love is typical for most people. This stems from your fear of being alone in this world and your fear of not being able to bear the thought of being the one who was left behind.

Thinking about the possibility of losing someone you love is overwhelming, not to mention hurtful. You may have invested too much of your time and feelings for that person and so just the thought of losing that person would leave you in a state of dread.

There are different kinds of people with whom a person can have deep affections. The fear of losing any one of these people can be traumatic for a person, especially if he or she has just experienced a grave loss, like divorce or death of a loved one.

A person can fear losing his spouse, his parents, his children, his relatives, his friends, or any person who is close to his heart. This fear can be caused or influenced by several factors such as:

  1. Divorce or separation – A person who recently went through divorce or separation proceedings can easily be haunted by separation anxiety due to the stress accompanied by the divorce process. It is not effortless for a person to live with a spouse for a period of time and to separate with that person. Divorce proceedings are usually intimidating and confrontational so such proceedings will always leave a bad taste in the mouth. In the same manner, a person who is about to undergo a divorce or separation will also be subjected to stress.
  2. Empty nest – A fulltime mother can easily feel depressed when she realizes her children are growing up and are slowly becoming independent. This anxiety stems from the thought that for several years, she was needed by her children and now that they can manage on their own, then she will no longer be needed and useful. A mother who experienced this fear of losing her children should try to immerse herself back into society by finding a business or a useful hobby that will keep her occupied. The feeling of worthlessness is natural but you have to find a way to fight this fear by making yourself useful in some other ways. Also, why not look at the situation in another way? Why not accept the reality that you have reared your children so well and that you have prepared them to live their own lives? And now, it is time for them to try to walk alone without mommy’s help.
  3. Death in the family – A death in the family or in your circle of friends will always make a person realize how fleeting life can be. This realization will manifest itself into the fear of losing someone you love due to illness or sudden death. Death is expected and it would do you good to make time for people you love. If you are already spending enough time with them, then you can always improve the quality of time you spend with your loved ones.

The fear of losing a loved one is always in existence. We can never get away from this fear because there are situations that will make a person think of the possibility of being separated from the people they love. But the possibility of losing someone is one of life’s facts and no one can prevent his from happening.

However, one can always soften the blow of being left behind by preparing for such an eventuality.

This is part four of 15 (yes, fifteen!) posts about The Ultimate Guide to Improving Your Self-Confidence, subscribe to our newsletter by clicking this link to receive free updates (not to mention a FREE E-Book!).

Part I: The Shocking Truth About Self-Confidence
Part II: 5 Little-Known Factors That Could Affect Your Confidence
Part III: 5 Surprising Characteristics of Someone Who Fears Rejection

To our success in all areas of life,
Argel Tiburcio
I’m on Facebook

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When he is not busy watching "The Office", lounging at the beach, or playing 1st person shooting games, Argel consistently invests in the stock market, both local and global. He loves learning through books, training, seminars, and workshops. He also helps Pinoys create, manage, grow, and protect their wealth as a globally-certified Professional Financial Advisor. Get in touch with him by sending an email to contact[at]

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